When my husband Eric suggested having a third child, I was already stretched to my limit raising our two kids ten-year-old Lily and five-year-old Brandon mostly on my own. I cooked, cleaned, worked part-time from home, and handled every school drop-off, homework session, and bedtime routine. Eric’s contribution? Earning a paycheck and then parking himself on the couch, convinced that “providing” was all a father needed to do.
So when he casually said over dinner, “We should have another baby,” I couldn’t hide my disbelief. “Eric, I’m already a single parent to two kids while you sit back. Why would I add more to my plate?” Instead of listening, he got defensive and that’s when his mother and sister chimed in. They told me to be “grateful,” to “toughen up,” and reminded me how they had done it without complaint.
But I wasn’t going to quietly carry the weight of our family alone anymore. I told Eric the truth: “Providing money isn’t the same as parenting. You don’t even know your kids the way you should.” He didn’t like that. He told me to pack my things and leave. I did but not before telling him the kids would stay with whichever parent remained in the house.
Suddenly, he didn’t want them full-time. That spoke volumes. I moved in with my sister, filed for divorce, and ultimately got full custody, the house, and child support. Eric wanted me to take on more responsibility when he couldn’t even handle what we already had. Refusing that third child was the best decision I ever made.